Interpersonal "strategies"

It seems to me that one of the problems that most of us face (and I include myself here) is that we often fail to think strategically about our day to day situations. For example, a guest speaker to an MBA program recently mentioned an interaction with an IT client where the question was posed "what do you want IT infrastructure to be able to do in 10 years?", and the reply was "no one here has ever asked that question before".

We often get so caught up in the minutiae of this moment, this interaction, this person, that we fail to step back and ask "What, really, do I want out of this situation? What are my goals? What tactics can I take to best reach my goals?". Instead, we simply use tactics in the moment - those of us that are comfortable with conflict become argumentative, those of us that are good at reconciliation try to build consensus and collaboration, etc. However, ultimately the goal is to have all of these tactics as "tools" in our managerial "toolbox", to be taken out and used as appropriate.

My question for you (o dedicated blog reader) is this: What "tactics" do you tend to use most often, and how do they add to or detract from your interpersonal effectiveness? What ideas can you think of to help yourself (or any of us) start thinking "strategically" about our interactions? How can you avoid the trap of using the same interpersonal "tactics" over an over, and start thinking more "strategically" about your relationships with colleagues, co-workers, managers, etc.?